50 word stories
1. The sad truth
David turns away from Jeanette’s house with great hatred and sadness. He has just seen the other side of her. It is not true love but merely a ruthless plot that will be causing his downfall, his descend towards rock bottom. He will never be the same again.
2. The bitter reality
Mark runs as fast as he could reflecting back on his life. The mistaken identity .He carries on running thinking of the bitter reality he is facing, the
Internal turmoil within him. Nature has made him as a male but heart and soul are defying the fact. The undeniable truth.
3. Forbidden life
Although Gina knows what she is doing is terribly wrong, she still continues to stay unfaithful to her husband and gains pleasure from her forbidden love life. Never is it going to strike in a head that the forbidden fruit will be the very thing that will cause her death
4. The black rose
A speeding car suddenly screeches, unable to stop in time, hits Danny, ending his life. Sara Danny’s lover, unable to control herself cries uncontrollably shouting out that she too wishes to die, to be able to be with Danny again. Just then she sees a black rose in Danny’s hand…..
May 4, 2007 at 1:47 am
Title: The Bitter Reality
Author: Lyonn
What’s it’s about: A man is running from his emotional pain relating to his gender.
What works: The ability to sympathize with a character many people are cruel to.
Room for improvement: “thinking about his life.” What an empty, generally weak sentence. It doesn’t have any specifics, so it doesn’t seem like it benefits when you only have 50 words to work with. Also, I’m not sure why running benefits your story. Is running something transgendered people do? Could you select an action more specific to revealing the world of your character?
May 4, 2007 at 2:08 am
Title: the bitter reality
Author: Lyonn
What’s it about: Mark is born a male, but deep down he feels he’s actually all woman?
What works? Shows the conflict within himself really nicely.
Room for improvement: I’m a bit confused as to whether his gay or is he a transsexual.
May 4, 2007 at 2:09 am
Title: The bitter reality
Author: Lyonn
What it’s about: about Mark trying to fix into the reality
What works: Make readers wanting to question what is going to happen next.
Room for improvement: Maybe can give more explanations on what he is reflecting about??
By:yingying
May 4, 2007 at 2:10 am
Title: The bitter reality
Author: Lyonn
What it’s about: Inner conflicts within a guy(homo?)’s thoughts.
What works: The vivid description.
Room for improvement: There were too many adjectives in the story, which made it confusing for the reader and somewhat misleading. And there were also too many fragments in the story.
May 4, 2007 at 2:11 am
Title: The bitter reality
Author: Lyonn
What it’s about: A guy who has to face the miserable fact that he is a male on the outside when truthfully; he wishes to be a female.
What works: How the story explains why he’s running and that he is unable to face what is for real.
Room for improvement: The start is a bit too long.
May 4, 2007 at 2:11 am
Title: The bitter reality
Author: Lyonn
What it’s about: A man facing a sexual crisis- simply put, he’s a woman trapped in a man’s body.
What works: Wry sense of humour that tied in greatly with the title of the story.
Room for improvement: Check tenses- ‘Mark runs as fast as he could’- shouldn’t it be ‘Mark ran as fast as he could’?Although it was only a 50-word story, it felt draggy to me- I personally felt that some parts (namely the 3rd and last sentences) were unnecessary. Slightly confusing – is he gay? Or does he just like to act like a woman?
May 4, 2007 at 2:47 am
The bitter reality
Lyonn
A guy doesn’t admit the factor that what nature has given him. He chooses to run away from reality
It gives an idea on what actually the guy wanted to be and he wanted to change his destiny.
It focus too much of him inside his thoughts and it keeps running.
May 4, 2007 at 6:37 am
Where’s my 5th story? Also, why do stories 3 and 4 seem more like openers than complete stories? You chose your strongest one to read in class, but this assignment required more effort on your part.
May 5, 2007 at 10:29 am
Title: The bitter reality
Author: Lyonn
What’s it’s about: Homosexual (gay) running away from his life or something else.
What works: Indirect words like ‘Run’.
Room for improvement: Story was less visual and very little content.
December 6, 2007 at 5:42 pm
it is about true love